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The Discipline of Judging Ourselves in Marriage

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The Discipline of Judging Ourselves in Marriage

It is the easiest thing in the world to point fingers at our spouse, and to blame them for the inadequacies and issues experienced in our marriage. We may occasionally feel justified in doing so, and even believe that criticizing them will somehow bring about the changes we desire in our relationship. But the reality is that pointing fingers is rarely ever the precipitator of change in any marriage, and if we really desire to see change occur, we’ll begin by judging ourselves and facing the realities of our heart.

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Nurturing the Bonds of Intimacy in Marriage

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Nurturing the Bonds of Intimacy in Marriage

Marriage is not a passive entity. It requires the daily commitment and effort of both parties to understand and respond to the central needs of each other. When these elements are applied consistently over time, a marriage is given the nourishment it needs to bear the fruit of intimacy leading to a lasting romance. When marriage is treated as a passive entity the fruit of intimacy quickly begins to wane. Emotional connection gives way to conflict, while emotional distancing leaves both parties straining to feel loved.

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Christians Holding to What Is True

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Christians Holding to What Is True

One cannot peruse the biblical narrative of Jeremiah without recognizing his dedication to declare “the word of the Lord,” in spite of the associated emotional burden, and the personal and political risks that would follow. His example stands in sharp contrast to the blatantly false doctrines promulgated by many prominent ministers and ministries in our nation. They have traded the proclamation of truth for popularity, chosen demagoguery over discipleship, and led the church toward the pursuit of riches instead of righteousness.

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Healing a Nation in Chaos

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Healing a Nation in Chaos

On May 25th, 2020 our world witnessed the blatant and unnecessary killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The images of his death are disturbing and haunting. A white police officer purposefully places pressure with his knee on the neck of an already subdued black man for an unconscionable period of time until his life flows out of him. After Floyd becomes wholly unresponsive, the pressure with the knee remains, carrying forward an act of unmitigated brutality.

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Men, Humility & The Courage to Seek Help From Others

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Men, Humility & The Courage to Seek Help From Others

The process of change in heart of any man begins with humility and a willingness to seek help from others. It’s how we develop and mature in the process of reaching our full potential in all areas of life. Both elements are essential in this regard, however men will often shy away from them because they challenge what we’ve been taught about masculinity, either by our families or the broader culture (i.e., vulnerability is a form of weakness; men have to be strong, independent, emotionless and aggressive).

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Remembering the "First Things" in Marriage

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Remembering the "First Things" in Marriage

Marriages are built on a foundation of trust, however time is the structure by which marital bonds are formed. Consider the earliest periods of a relationship where two individuals, driven by the power of attraction and adventure, ultimately prove their commitment, dedication and devotion to one another by their prioritization of time together. They make the time necessary to discuss their day, share their feelings for each other, and engage in fun and romantic activities. I call these initial attempts at bonding the “first things.”

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Why Premarital Counseling Is Important Before Saying "I Do."

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Why Premarital Counseling Is Important Before Saying "I Do."

Couples who enter premarital counseling do something remarkable. They reinforce their level of commitment to one another, while helping lay a solid foundation for a marriage that will last over the course of time. To be sure, it’s a decision steeped in maturity, which demonstrates their willingness to do the hard work needed to have a healthy relationship moving forward. 

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Marriage Insight: Making Time to Talk

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Marriage Insight: Making Time to Talk

Healthy marriages don’t just happen. They’re the outcome of principles spouses have consistently put in place over time. One of these essential principles is making time to communicate and explore what is taking place in their respective hearts and minds. This principle may seem overly simplistic, nevertheless its impact in helping build a vibrant marriage is profound.

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Moment of Reflection: Finding Rest in the Lord

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Moment of Reflection: Finding Rest in the Lord

“When we feel lost, and like our way is uncertain, we can find rest in the Lord. When our hearts are heavy, and we’re unsure how to move forward, we can find rest in the Lord. When it would be easy to sink into our frailty, we can find rest in the Lord. When decisions are required, and risks abound, we can proceed with courage and find rest in the Lord.”

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Challenging Common Stigmas About Counseling

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Challenging Common Stigmas About Counseling

Stigmas, or myths of counseling, reflect the negative personal or cultural biases which commonly prevent people from obtaining the wisdom or counsel needed for them to move forward in life. I challenge these myths one by one in this article.

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5 Essential Benefits of Premarital Counseling

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5 Essential Benefits of Premarital Counseling

Marriage is a beautiful endeavor when built upon the proper foundation. Premarital counseling is fundamental to properly building that foundation, and couples who invest their time, money and energy into the process will continuously reap the benefits of that decision over the course of time. This article outlines five essential benefits of premarital counseling.

Spending Time With Our Children

“One of the greatest gifts we will ever be able to offer our children is spending time with them. When we slow the pace of our lives to listen to their imaginative stories, play in the sandbox, read their favorite books, run together in the park and enjoy the power and simplicity of their prayers we offer them something priceless...our time, our presence and our love.” - Eric Gomez