Marriage

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The Essential Need for Boundaries & Proactivity in Marriage

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The Essential Need for Boundaries & Proactivity in Marriage

If anyone tells you that doing the work of marriage is easy, you would be wise to reconsider the proposition. The reality is that establishing a strong and healthy marriage takes work, and lots of it over the course of time. This is not to imply that you should be scared or intimidated by the notion of marriage. On the other hand, it indicates couples can benefit greatly from being well acquainted with the principles enabling husbands and wives to effectively work together in creating a relationship where each person feels loved, cherished, and valued. This article sets forth two of these essential principles.

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The Discipline of Judging Ourselves in Marriage

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The Discipline of Judging Ourselves in Marriage

It is the easiest thing in the world to point fingers at our spouse, and to blame them for the inadequacies and issues experienced in our marriage. We may occasionally feel justified in doing so, and even believe that criticizing them will somehow bring about the changes we desire in our relationship. But the reality is that pointing fingers is rarely ever the precipitator of change in any marriage, and if we really desire to see change occur, we’ll begin by judging ourselves and facing the realities of our heart.

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Nurturing the Bonds of Intimacy in Marriage

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Nurturing the Bonds of Intimacy in Marriage

Marriage is not a passive entity. It requires the daily commitment and effort of both parties to understand and respond to the central needs of each other. When these elements are applied consistently over time, a marriage is given the nourishment it needs to bear the fruit of intimacy leading to a lasting romance. When marriage is treated as a passive entity the fruit of intimacy quickly begins to wane. Emotional connection gives way to conflict, while emotional distancing leaves both parties straining to feel loved.

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Men, Humility & The Courage to Seek Help From Others

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Men, Humility & The Courage to Seek Help From Others

The process of change in heart of any man begins with humility and a willingness to seek help from others. It’s how we develop and mature in the process of reaching our full potential in all areas of life. Both elements are essential in this regard, however men will often shy away from them because they challenge what we’ve been taught about masculinity, either by our families or the broader culture (i.e., vulnerability is a form of weakness; men have to be strong, independent, emotionless and aggressive).

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Remembering the "First Things" in Marriage

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Remembering the "First Things" in Marriage

Marriages are built on a foundation of trust, however time is the structure by which marital bonds are formed. Consider the earliest periods of a relationship where two individuals, driven by the power of attraction and adventure, ultimately prove their commitment, dedication and devotion to one another by their prioritization of time together. They make the time necessary to discuss their day, share their feelings for each other, and engage in fun and romantic activities. I call these initial attempts at bonding the “first things.”

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Why Premarital Counseling Is Important Before Saying "I Do."

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Why Premarital Counseling Is Important Before Saying "I Do."

Couples who enter premarital counseling do something remarkable. They reinforce their level of commitment to one another, while helping lay a solid foundation for a marriage that will last over the course of time. To be sure, it’s a decision steeped in maturity, which demonstrates their willingness to do the hard work needed to have a healthy relationship moving forward. 

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Marriage Insight: Making Time to Talk

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Marriage Insight: Making Time to Talk

Healthy marriages don’t just happen. They’re the outcome of principles spouses have consistently put in place over time. One of these essential principles is making time to communicate and explore what is taking place in their respective hearts and minds. This principle may seem overly simplistic, nevertheless its impact in helping build a vibrant marriage is profound.

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Challenging Common Stigmas About Counseling

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Challenging Common Stigmas About Counseling

Stigmas, or myths of counseling, reflect the negative personal or cultural biases which commonly prevent people from obtaining the wisdom or counsel needed for them to move forward in life. I challenge these myths one by one in this article.

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5 Essential Benefits of Premarital Counseling

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5 Essential Benefits of Premarital Counseling

Marriage is a beautiful endeavor when built upon the proper foundation. Premarital counseling is fundamental to properly building that foundation, and couples who invest their time, money and energy into the process will continuously reap the benefits of that decision over the course of time. This article outlines five essential benefits of premarital counseling.

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Vulnerability, Criticism & The Danger of Pointing Out Your Spouse's Flaws

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Vulnerability, Criticism & The Danger of Pointing Out Your Spouse's Flaws

When married couples argue, it's often a failed attempt at reaching for one another. A primary reason lies in the use of criticism. Husbands and wives may unknowingly assume that pointing out where and how their spouse has failed will somehow lead to a resolution of the core issues they're trying to address, or even bring them closer together somehow. Unfortunately, this approach tends to have the opposite effect.

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Essentials of Rebuilding Trust in Marriage

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Essentials of Rebuilding Trust in Marriage

Contrary to the popular notion, time doesn't heal all wounds. Rose Kennedy put it this way: "It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it is never gone." Her statement precisely illustrates what I see married couples experience when the trust between them is lost.

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The Wisdom & Beauty of Premarital Counseling

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The Wisdom & Beauty of Premarital Counseling

Premarital counseling serves as one of the most unique and important elements of a couples visionary journey, by helping them wade through the deep waters of their love, and learn to carefully traverse through the daunting peaks and gaping valleys of their differences. Taking such a journey is one that requires the help, knowledge, and wisdom of those who are skilled at helping others navigate through the joyous and difficult parts of such an endeavor.